The Twelve (Silly) Days of Christmas

By Kristina Richardson

On the first day of Christmas
My mother gave to me
A toothbrush I didn't really need.

On the second day of Christmas
My mother gave to me
Two pairs of new socks
And a toothbrush I didn't really need.

On the third day of Christmas
My mother gave to me
Three hairbrushes
(I guess my hair was messy)
Two pairs of new socks
And a toothbrush I didn't really need.

On the fourth day of Christmas
My mother gave to me
Four Canadian coins
(Which, as it turns out, are pretty useless 'cause
I don't live in Canada)
Three hairbrushes
Two pairs of new socks
And a toothbrush I didn't really need.

On the fifth day of Christmas
My mother gave to me
Five Barbie rings
(They're really tiny, and I'm way too old for Barbie)
Four Canadian coins
Three hairbrushes
Two pairs of new socks
And a toothbrush I didn't really need.

On the sixth day of Christmas
My mother gave to me
Six comic books
Five Barbie rings
Four Canadian coins
Three hairbrushes
Two pairs of new socks
And a toothbrush I didn't really need.

On the seventh day of Christmas
My mother gave to me
Seven "days of the week" undies
(I hope no one from school ever sees these)
Six comic books
Five Barbie rings
Four Canadian coins
Two pairs of new socks
And a toothbrush I didn't really need.

On the eighth day of Christmas
My mother gave to me
Eight electronic games
(Enough to drive her crazy)
Seven "days of the week" undies
Six comic books
Five Barbie rings
Four Canadian coins
Three hairbrushes
Two pairs of new socks
And a toothbrush I didn't really need.

On the ninth day of Christmas
My mother gave to me
Nine candy kisses
(I really like this gift, I think I'll give
her one of my Barbie rings)
Eight electronic games
Seven "days of the week" undies
Six comic books
Five Barbie rings
Four Canadian coins
Three hairbrushes
Two pairs of new socks
And a toothbrush I didn't really need.

On the tenth day of Christmas
My mother gave to me
Ten blue flyswatters
(My mom's losing it; what happened to the candy kisses?)
Nine candy kisses
Eight electronic games
Seven "days of the week" undies
Six comic books
Five Barbie rings
Four Canadian coins
Three hairbrushes
Two pairs of new socks
And a toothbrush I didn't really need.

On the eleventh day of Christmas
My mother gave to me
Eleven novelty ice-cube trays
(Now I know she's really lost it)
Ten blue flyswatters
Nine candy kisses
Eight electronic games
Seven "days of the week" undies
Six comic books
Five Barbie rings
Four Canadian coins
Three hairbrushes
Two pairs of new socks
And a toothbrush I didn't really need.

On the twelfth day of Christmas
My mother gave to me
Twelve Snoopy Band-Aids
(I scratched myself trying to get
the ice out of the novelty ice trays—
how did she know I would need these?)
Eleven novelty ice trays
Ten blue flyswatters
Nine candy kisses
Eight electronic games
Seven "days of the week" undies
Six comic books
Five Barbie rings
Four Canadian coins
Three hairbrushes
Two pairs of new socks
And a toothbrush I didn't really need.